Thursday, February 11, 2010
IZ's 2008 Prison Blog: Entry 5: "The Hole"
The hole is f*cked up! That’s just the best way to describe it. The hole f*ckin’ sucks, straight up. I’ve seen a bunch of people come out the hole and say "Oh, the hole ain’t shit," but they’re not fooling anyone, especially not me, because I was one of those people. I did 30 days in the hole in 2004. When I came out I said the same thing, "The hole aint shit! I’m a "G" homie! That shit don’t FAZE ME! Ill do that shit standing on my head" and so on and so forth. But that’s not what I was saying when I was in there. I wasn’t saying anything actually...there’s no one to talk to. There isn’t shit! Me, Myself, and I don’t count either... Also, because they pepper spray u when u get into fights, they use that as an excuse to strip u down and take your clothes, even if there isn’t any pepper spray on them. So besides being bored out of your mind, you freeze your ass off too.
(Before going any further, Id like to clear up why i’m in the hole in the first place this time around. Peep this: the cells are full... That's it: the cells are full... Fuckin Bullshit... How the hell is it okay to put me in the hole because the cells are full. They should let me go to the dorms but apparently they can’t, its fuckin overcrowded. Aint that some shit?)
But anyways, as I was saying, the hole sucks. I have no idea how long i’m going to be in here and i’m almost out of paper. They give you 2 stamped envelopes and 6 sheets of paper when you go in the first day. So after you finish with the paper in the first 30 minutes, you just sit there all day staring at the walls. They give you a book to read but they might as well not. You have to choose out of an old ass bag with about 6 of the most shot-out, booty ass books on planet Earth, and 2 aren’t even in English! The funny thing is, the selection never changes either. I’ve been in the hole 4 times since 2000 and I can swear that they are the same 6 books I saw the first, second, third, and fourth time. Like I said, "FUCKIN BULLSHIT!" So after reading this "book", which might as well be "the Cat in the Hat," I’m writing this blog but also trying to conserve as much paper as possible.
Another thing that drives you crazy in the hole is hunger. In the hole, you’re not allowed to spend any of the money on your account to order anything from jail commissary, (in prison you can, but not in the county,) you can only eat what they give you, which is basically one meal, split up into 3. A grown man cannot be expected to live off what they feed you. I lose an average 10lbs in the first week I spend in the hole. What makes things worse and compounds your turmoil is the fact that working out, which is the only thing you can do in the hole, makes you extremely hungry. So either way, you’re completely assed-out. I’m actually eating a mustard pack as a snack while writing this.
Your biggest enemy in the hole, however, is always boredom. 24 hours a day doing nothing. You can’t even really sleep because the fuckin police bang on your door every 15 minutes to check if you’re alive, and I’m not exaggerating. They bang on your door every 15 minutes until you respond. That type of environment is not conducive to sleep at ALL! It seems like some of them get a kick out of it too. (If only they did the rest of their job with as much fervor and enthusiasm... fuckin fags)
Anyways...boredom can make you lose your mind. Your brain doesn’t work right after about 20 days in the hole. 20 minutes after breakfast, it’s hard to remember what you just ate. Hopefully I won’t be in here that long.
The really ironic thing about it is that after all of this, the next time I’m about to do something that might get me sent to the hole, I probably won’t even think about it or be able to remember just how bad it is in here...I guess that’s why people always go in and out of jail~ fuckin stupid...